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The book is NOT "Bringing up misfits"
Published Sunday, August 03, 2008 in
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Last week there was a lively discussion on the Wall Street Journal blog “The Juggle” about my book. Thanks to Stefanie Illgenfritz for bringing the book to the attention of Juggle readers – and as well for joining me on Wednesday’s edition of NPR’s “On Point with Tom Ashbrook” to discuss it.
I always knew my take on parenting would seem offbeat to some, and that’s OK. The fact that I define my family as “geeky” strikes some folks as unflattering, but it never seemed that way to me. We’re comfortable with who we are and around our house we try not to take ourselves too seriously, anyway.
But it turns out that many folks assume – at least in WSJ blog comments – that I’m advocating a parenting strategy that turns out social misfits. Ack! Nothing could be further from the truth!
Nor am I promoting the idea that parents should mold and control the personalities of their children. For some reason, saying that I think parents ought to monitor and limit the influence of media in the lives of their kids equates to some people the notion that I’m out to produce Stepford children who robotically respond to every parental command.
If you met any one of my four children, you’d know that my husband and I aren’t raising social misfits or adolescent automatons. They’re all lively, unique and outspoken. Moreover, the fact that we guide them in decision-making when they’re young has resulted in teens who make terrific decisions for themselves.
So why the misconceptions? I guess the word geek is more highly charged than I anticipated and some folks aren’t willing to use a label they view as unappealing. Others seem to think that an argument for strong, hands-on parenting suggests an authoritarian style.
All I can say is, you gotta read the book! My use of the word “geek” as an acronym for Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kids should tell you that I’m writing with a sense of humor and a point of view that puts kids’ authentic personalities and their ultimate autonomy at the forefront.
I do believe it’s time to redefine what’s cool for our kids rather than let the culture encroach into our homes with all its materialism and cynicism and celebrity. At our house, the alternative is bringing up geeks (and that’s a good thing!)
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By
Steven Ebel @
Thursday, September 18, 2008 6:09 PM
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On the topic of GEEK parenting, I wanted to pass along an email I sent to the Mall of America in Minnesota. I think the note speaks for itself.
Dear Sir or Madam, I visited the Mall of America in July during a vacation with my wife and four children ages 1 to 7. We vacation in Minnesota each summer. One attraction we visited was the bumper cars ride at the Nickelodeon theme park featuring the "Naked Brothers Band." Aside from the inappropriateness of the band's name for a children's ride, I was shocked by the background music playing at the ride. The song, “I Don’t Want to Go to School” is, as the name implies, an anti-school screed. I’ll spare you the lyrics but suffice it to say the title of the song was repeated endlessly while we waited in line. Afterwards, I had to discuss the song with my older kids and try my best to explain why a “family” amusement park would play music with such a negative message. I had little to offer my kids in terms of an explanation except to tell them that we will not be returning. I did not originally intend to contact the Mall of America but thought it might be possible that management is not aware of the music played at this ride and the negative image it projects on your business. You have lost my trust as a parent and, as I said, I will not be returning but I thought it appropriate to advise you of the situation.
Sincerely,
Steven Ebel Houston, TX
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By
Erica @
Sunday, July 26, 2009 4:11 PM
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I've been reading your book and I've really enjoyed it. My husband and I have been raising our 3 girls to be geeks since day 1 (it helps that he's a computer geek and I'm a science nerd - we figured we couldn't possible raise anything else!)
We're so geeky we even homeschool! But people don't seem to catch on right away. My kids make friends all over the place and I've had more than one parent respond when I mention we homeschool, "But your kids are so normal." Maybe I should look into planting antennae on their heads or something so people can spot them and avoid them . . .
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